How to be a self-respecting female baseball fan



I repeated this to myself a few times before starting this post. I promise to try and be on my best behavior. You will likely need to remind me. I hope it doesn’t get so bad that you unfriend me. But. It’s possible.


Oh god. That happened fast. Sorry.


You know how to be a self-respecting female fan? Be a fan. It’s that simple. Have fun. Don’t be an asshole to the people near you. Cheer on the home team. Respect the classy players on other teams. Be intrigued when you learn something cool about the sport or your team’s history. Your gender doesn’t matter. We all play by the same rules.

Drink some goddamn beers. Look up meaningless bits of trivia on your phone. Do the last part in the bathroom stall if you like. Come back to the seats to wow everyone with your knowledge. I don’t care. It’s not a lesson in the Civil War. No one will be better or worse if you know who pitched game two in 1986. Knowing that doesn’t make you a good person. It makes you good at remembering things. I’m so happy for you.

It’s a sport. It’s supposed to be fun. You’re not in your house. You’re not working. HAVE SOME FUN AND GIVE EACH OTHER A BREAK.

Girls like pink. Most of us anyway. Wear the hat. It’s adorable.

A girl is somehow weaker, stupider, more fair-weather than your dude cousin from Toledo who borrowed your jersey and doesn’t know the first thing about the line up? Because she’s in a pink hat? Fuck. You.


I am sick and tired of women getting pushed around. I am sick and tired of having this conversation. We’re equal. Done.

My current boss is the CEO of a growing company. We generate tens of millions in revenue each year and help tens of thousands of people who are at a crappy crossroads in life. She’s one of the smartest, savviest people I’ve ever known. She could crush you with a single look. She’s the best boss in my career to date. The last meeting I was in with her, she was using a glitter pen. You know what her favorite color is? I’m not going to even answer. Fuck. You.

You want to be a self-respecting fan? Friend? Employee? Partner? Parent? Do the best you can. Be easier on yourself. Be a shit load easier on those around you. Stop feeling like you have to apologize. Rise above the petty bullshit.

Wear the pink hat.